Kids On Wheels, Inc. - Kids Section!

Jokes

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?: All sorts of antics!
How do you start a teddy bear race?: Ready, teddy, go!
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?: A firequaker!
What is smarter than a talking cat?: A spelling bee!
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?: Turns over a new leaf!
Why did the turtle cross the road?: To get to the shell station
Why did the horse cross the road?: Because the chicken needed a day off
Why did the cow cross the road?: To get to the udder side!
What do you call a crazy chicken?: A cuckoo cluck!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?: An eggroll!
What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?: Time to fix the fence!
What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?: An elephant with an umbrella!
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?: Lost!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?: Fsh!
What do you call an arctic cow?: An eskimoo!
What do you call a crate of ducks?: A box of quackers!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses: You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?: Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell.: Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I feel like a sheep.: That's baaaaaaaaaad!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.: I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?: I never make rash promises!
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?: A dinosnore!
What is the fruitiest lesson?: History, because it's full of dates!
How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?: Just one if it's long enough!
This match won't light!: That's funny, it did this morning!
What do elves do after school?: Gnomework!
What animals are on legal documents?: Seals!
How did the Vikings send secret messages?: By norse code!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?: Because there were so many knights!
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?: Student: Because it can't sit down!
What is a forum?: Two-um plus two-um!
Who invented fractions?: Henry the 1/8th!
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?: Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!